Sex Offender Switcheroo

posted by Josh Goodman

Since when did sex offenders become so popular? Consider some developments over the past couple of weeks in state legislatures:

* On a 32-8 vote, the Kansas Senate approved the extension of a law that prevents local governments from restricting where sex offenders live. The House seems likely to go further and make the law permanent.

* Utah lawmakers killed a proposal to prevent sex offenders from living within 500 feet of schools, parks, pools and playgrounds.

* A similar bill died in a Colorado House committee.

* Legislators in Iowa are considering repealing their state's 2,000-foot buffer zone around schools and daycare centers, which was put in place just two years ago. At least ten county boards have come out in favor of the repeal.

In truth, legislators dislike sex offenders as much as they ever have. They're showing it in a variety of other ways, from tougher sentencing laws to expanded post-release monitoring to Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst's push to authorize the death penalty for child molesters. However, this year seems likely to represent a turning point against state-level residency restrictions.

There's little secret as to why, from a policy perspective, legislators would not want to regulate where sex offenders can live. As a panel in Kansas found, the restrictions don't reduce recidivism. Rather, they prompt offenders to move without reporting it, making it tougher for law enforcement to keep track of them.

But, from a political perspective, is it possible to vote in a way that an opponent could portray as favoring sex offenders and not have it come back to haunt you at the next election? These lawmakers seem intent on finding out, which makes them courageous, foolish, or both.

Comments

[ZMan]

News of a horrific crime, reporters telling the details over and over, mugshots of the suspect on the screen, revelation that the suspect is a registered sex offender. Even though such a crime might occur hundreds of miles away, I panic.

That crime could cost my son any remaining chance of a normal, stable childhood. It could cost me the choice to live peacefully with my husband, the right to live free of the terror that someone will show up on my doorstep intent on murder.

Why? Because in response to horrific crimes, society now lashes out at law-abiding citizens who, in the past, broke the law. Punishes them again by broadcasting their daily whereabouts to the world, driving them into joblessness and homelessness, banning them from walking down a city street or taking shelter in cases of emergencies. And the law thoroughly punishes their families. Spouses must either live under the same dangers, restrictions and privacy invasions, or abandon their marriage. Children lose friends, homes, and the right to be free of mockery and assault and fear.

We don't speak out often. Being legally required to provide personal information to those who wish to kill us tends to stifle public discourse. If a death threat is made, we cannot protect ourselves by staying with relatives or in a hotel for a few days. The law requires we keep the potential killer updated as to where we can be found. And that potential killer would have more rights under the law, even if he murdered us, than we do as people trying to remain in compliance with ever-changing laws.

My husband was convicted decades ago of a sex crime against an adult. He served time, he participated in years of treatment during and after release, he spent additional years under supervision. Then a court, and a panel of mental health experts, deemed he was no longer a danger to anyone. Not medium risk, not low risk. No risk. He set out to do what hundreds of thousands of ex-cons do--build a new life--and he succeeded. We married and had a child. We worked hard, contributed to our community, raised our son, made plans for the future.

Then society demanded a do-over, and contrived to do so through "regulation." So another court decided there was no punishment attached to retroactive registration of sex offenders, nor in the highly publicized dissemination of their whereabouts. Even though we are no longer subject to criminal supervision, "civil" laws have taken our privacy, our right to live and travel where we choose, and our right to be free of harassment.

Politicians, the media, and the public make it clear to us: We are human garbage. Toxic waste. Unfit to breathe the air. Unworthy of life. Deserving of death at the hands of vigilantes.

Yes, I say "we," even though my husband is the only sex offender in the family. For years, the public, politicians, and certain advocacy groups have gotten away with failing to acknowledge the swath of collateral damage their law-making has inflicted. If a mere third of offenders are married, almost a quarter million spouses are recklessly placed in jeopardy by the laws. If a third live with a parent, almost a quarter million family members are at risk. If a third have a single child, almost a quarter million children are--daily-- endangered by public notification and the prevailing, rabidly encouraged public sentiment that any registered offender should be tormented at every opportunity. Our lives are ones of fear.

To those who say I knew what I was getting into by marrying a man with a sex crime in his past, consider this: We married five years before the first law that affected us was passed, and nearly ten years before the current crop became law. Ten years ago, no reasonable person would have predicted that, absent any wrongdoing in that time, we'd suddenly be violating the law to live in a home we own, to drive down certain city streets, to take a vacation without notifying law enforcement, to buy or rent a new home or hold a job without updating the public--all because of a decades-old conviction. All these penalties came to pass after our marriage, and after the birth of our child.

There is no way to appeal it. There is no escaping it. No matter what we do--no matter how well or how long we abide by the laws--we lose more and more rights and freedoms every day. And that loss is based upon pure hysteria and statistical manipulation. The testimony of mental health experts is ignored by politicians and the mainstream media. True recidivism rates are under-reported, or are not reported at all. Even victim advocacy groups and prosecuting attorneys are disregarded when they speak against these punishments. And discussing the consequences of the laws is, apparently, taboo in the public forum.

Some will say it would be shameful to repeal laws intended to protect children. I tell you the recklessness with which hundreds of thousands of innocent American citizens have been triumphantly stripped of their privacy, family, and safety is shameful indeed. Politicians and advocates tell us that such "civil" abuse heaped upon sex offenders is worthy if it saves a single child. By default, they name the pain and loss and endangerment inflicted on other children worthy as well. Shameful indeed.

I don't ask that you welcome us with open arms. We ask for something far more simple: to be left alone, just as we were all those years in which we did nothing wrong under the law. However, if you demand that every offender be eternally punished for his or her past, then show the moral courage to hold yourself accountable for the present.

When you demand offenders be pushed out of your community, say out loud, "and their children should be hounded out of their home, too."

When you demand longer and broader notifications, state bravely, "and I want their children to be shamed whenever they leave their home, to live in terror of vigilante violence forever."

When you demand offenders be banned from schools, proclaim as well, "and I want their children to be mocked and beaten by their classmates, to never have a friend."

When you demand the government step in to 'protect the children,' say to the offender's child, "But you I will purposefully endanger. Your family I will destroy, and claim its destruction as my victory."

When you demand an offender be again punished for a decades-old crime, at least have the decency to say you're willing to inflict certain damage on thousands of children in exchange for the many-times disproved promise of better security for yours.

Don't like the way that sounds? Neither do we. But you have the option of turning away, of ignoring it, of justifying it with sound bites. We don't. We live according to the whims of civil madmen every day.

Ilah June 06
www.sohopeful.org

[desperate for change]

THANK YOU Zman for your posting! I spend every day of my life fighting tears and the urge to take my beloved and hide him. A young man that in the eyes of anyone I have ever talked to, never commited what anyone else seems to consider a CRIME other than the courts! A teenager having sex with a teenager suddenly in recent times has become unforgivable! He served 5 years and for the past 10 months has been wearing an electric monitoring ankle bracelet to maintain a house arrest as apparently part of his supervision. And several weeks ago, the state of Wisconsin added a GPS tracking device on top of the other device! He is by far the least dangerous of ex-cons, yet is only of a small handful of offenders wearing this GPS! Our lives consist now of traveling to and from work, hiding out in a tiny apartment in the only place that would rent to him and looking at the constant sores the rubber bracelets are producing on his skin! And he is supposed to wear both of these devices for another 9 years! But of course due to the constant changes in the laws, I am sure he will be subject to a lifetime of GPS instead! WHY?! All these strict rules and restrictions only cause anxiety, depression and the desire to just recommit himself to prison where at this point he claims he had more freedoms!

And, yes, then there is all the rest of us that get to suffer! His entire family pays day after day. All we want is to be left alone to enjoy the rest of our lives like anyone else...law abiding and peacefully!

[MOLINA]

Ladies and Gentlemen...please know that restrictions on free citizens are punishment. This really puts this issue into clear focus registration is punishment=unconstitutional. Restrictions are punishment. Please send me a donation so that I can reach more people to see this issue clearly. The further punishment, discrimination and a forced policy against not only you but that goes against the Constitution/Bill of Rights/Civil Rights. This is a HOMERUN. Please donation MOLINA 927 south Bruce-# 5 Anaheim, Ca. 92804 thank you.

[Cara Fletcher]

I'm scared of those sex offenders.They are getting more and more.I'm worried about my kid and I will buy a child tracking device to protect my little girl from such people.

[blackscope]

I am a registered sex offender. In 1993 I was charged with ASSAULT WITH INTENT TO COMMIT MAYHEM, RAPE, SODOMY in California (Penal Code 220). I was at a party with a bunch of friends (approx. 20). A lady (with whom I had sex with numerous times) was there (she was 19 I was 20) and we started making out in the bathroom of the house party. Her friend came in and the lady pushed me off of her and lied, she said I was trying to rape her. This was the first time I had ever been arrested as an adult and I was terrified while I was housed in the county jail system and going back and forth to court to defend myself. I was jumped in jail. I didn't have money for a lawyer so I was appointed one by the court. The lawyer told me I must be guilty during our first meeting. I expressed my innocence but he was convinced I must have been guilty. After 3 months of court appearances and living in hell in LA County jail, I caved in and plead no contest to the charges. The lawyer told me I was going to get at least 7 years in prison if I didn't plea bargain. So I did. The terms of the plea were that I would get time served (approx 3 months), spend 3 years on probation, and register as a sex offender (in 1993 the registration requirement was not a lifetime requirement). So I did all the things I was required to do under the plea bargain.

In 2000 I was arrested but the Detective dropped the charges. However, the dectective asked me if I was registered as a sex offender. I said no. She asked if I was aware that it was a lifetime requirement. I said no. I wound up going to court for Failure to Register as a Sex Offender. I plead not guilty. The D.A. and my court appointed attorney again threatened me with a lengthy prison sentence and enhancements under the 3 strikes law here in California. I plead no contest again to this charged and now my picture sits on line with child molesters and actual rapists. I have been unable to hold a job because once they do a background check they wont hire me. I always answer yes to the "have you ever been convicted?" part of the job application. I have been forced to do temp work. Several times these jobs would have become permanent but because of the Failure to Register as a sex offender charge I do not get the job. I have never raped anyone. I have never harmed a child. What can I do? I am about to become homeless (again0 because temp jobs are just that, temporary and I can't keep up with the bills. I have pushed out of my mind the thought of robbing someone to get the money I need. I am God fearing. I pray. I pay taxes. I help old ladies across the street. I am someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time almost 20 years ago and I am being penalized. Where is the justice? I have even had thoughts of suicide. I live in a constant state of depression and anger. How is this helping society. I do not know what to do. This is my cry for help. I have no family. I have just me and my dog and my belief that God will hear my pleas.

[Jerusha]

My thoughts will be forever changed on the way I view the "Sex Offenders Registry" I use to go online to see what kind of "perverts" lived near me and my children, thinking everyone on there was some kind of sicko who preyed on children. That was until I took the time to get to know someone and fall in love with that person, I took the time to hear about his case and soon found out, they label people with this " Sexual Assault on a Child " with no discription of the crime. My boyfriend spend 8 yrs in prison for doing something people do all the time, having sex. He was 18yrs old and the girl was 14 yrs old. He served his time, and now is required by law to register for a life time. He has to take all these classes since being released which each cost $50.00 and he has to take lie ditector test which is 360.00 his ankle monitor is 10/month and he has 2 ua's a month at 3.00 each. Now mind you he can't get a job to pay for all these things he is required to do or he will go back to prison. How is that fair? The want you to start over and get on the right track but leave you with this burden of not being able to work because no one will hire a sex offender. I'm writing this because I think the laws are messed up and we as humans should help change the laws, so our loved ones don't suffer!

[Jessia]

I am married to a sex offender which commited the crime when we were teens
I never knew there would be a list like this ! It ruins are family Life we have 2 kids I feel sorry for my husband and our lives this is wrecking my kids by seeing there dad being on this list where is Justice HE SEREVED HIS TIME ! LET US LIVE FOR GOD SAKE AMEN IN MICHIGAN

[Deana]

Looking for UK experiences.
Can only find USA sites online.

http://www.raywyre.uk.com/content/?cat=4

[Robert Paisola]

To Our Readers Around the World:

I am deeply moved by the words that have been written before me and am compelled to contribute to this dialogue.

Because of the stories of abuse that you have read about here and other places,
We have set up a foundation to assist former inmates who have done their time and have been abused by the American Justice and Penal System.

I am a very fortunate person, as I am also an ex-offender.

12 years ago, I plead guilty to the possession of 4 images of child pornography that were on a computer. I was sentenced to a period of 18 months to run retroactive, AND Concurrent.

However because of that experience 12 years ago, I have been blessed to be able to create a foundation that assists former inmates get back on their feet. It is at www.PrisonPartners.com where you can read about what we do.

One year ago, I too, was arrested for what was termed "Failure to Register as a Sex Offender" .... yep, for what happened 12 years ago. The documents that charge state that I register, but spelled the name of the street I live on incorrectly and that I not provide updated information on a new Lexus that I bought in a timely manner.

Well, one year later, and we are still in court. (The case is based in the 4th District Court in Provo, Utah) I have the backing of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, the ACLU and many other organizations.

I am also fortunate to be able to utilize my position in the media to broadcast what is horribly wrong with the system.

Because of my very public stance on this issue in a state like Utah, I have three pending book deals and a movie deal with a major Hollywood Studio. Why? Because I am taking a stand.

My dear friends, enough is enough. We are not going to allow this sentencing disparity between the states to continue any longer. no longer look past the fact that the State of Utah's Computer Systems are not even ABLE TO PROPIGATE DATA in the correct way, to protect the innocent, We have interviewed the developers of the software, the programmers at the state, Jeremy Shaw, the director of the Sex Offender Unit in Salt Lake City, Lisa Ricci, the Utah County Deputy that approved the arrest. and many others that will be featured on a special website called www.sexoffenderchronicles.com You can read all of the witness statements, the police reports, the Forensic Data Analysis that we have done and much more. There are also recordings that will blow you away!

We are going to go to all the way to the Supreme Court and get a final ruling on this issue.

It is a very costly process to go through the court system in the manner in which we are doing so, however, I can honestly say that my conviction 12 years ago has never hurt my ability to earn a living, a good one at that. Just go to www.RobertPaisola.net and you will see what I mean.

Why are we doing this? Because this will become an international event as we continue through this process.

I have already appeared on CNN, DATELINE, MSNBC and many other International Networks who are watching this case closely. You need to go to Google and type my name ROBERT PAISOLA, there, you will notice that there are almost one million hits, but guess what is at the top...yep! Everything we are discussing here. You see, the public at large wants nothing positive. Just the negative. That is and has been the American Way.

Now that is why we created www.ReputationMD.com !

In conclusion I want to post the Biography that I post daily as I help people on a scholar help site called www.allexperts.com . This is so that you can see who you are dealing with. I promise you that if you go to www.RobertPaisola.COM and listen to my message, that you will FEEL the passion that I have to help the less fortunate.

One year ago, I had to make a choice to either be a victim or a victor, and I choose to be the victor and take this on head first.

It does not serve society to treat people this way.

So, If a jury of my peers in Utah County, Utah finds me guilty of spelling a street address wrong and failing to register a convertible Lexus on time, which our team can prove was all done correct, then you can bet that I will spend 90 days in a Utah County Jail.... Gladly, as I document every single action for the Supreme Court Case, the Books and the Upcoming Movie, and you, the American Public.

Because THAT is what it takes to create world wide change.

To my friends and readers around the world, I wish you the best. And to those who have posted before me, know that I am in gratitude for the stand that you have taken on this matter.

Regards,

Robert Paisola
CEO
www.MyCollector.com
www.CollectonIndustryLive.com
www.RobertPaisola.com
www.RobertPaisola.net
www.RobertPaisola.org
www.RCITrainings.com

ABOUT YOUR AUTHOR

Robert Paisola is driven by a passion for people--motivating them to reach for the highest standards of success. As founder and president of many International Corporations including Western Capital and The Success Training Network, Robert trains sales and marketing professionals who want to strive to get to the top...and stay there.

He is a Nationally Recognized Criminal Rights Activist and is very involved with assisting inmates and their families who have been abused by the justice system. See www.PrisonPartners.com

His innovative, no-nonsense approach is based on applying what he has observed in his fifteen-plus years in sales, motivational speaking and debt collection training, thus revealing the common business habits of the top 20% of sales performers in all organizations.

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At $15,000.00 per day, Robert Paisola speaks on an International Basis to support his foundation, The Western Capital Foundation. He is also a noted speaker on the topic of Real Estate and Investments.

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[mike b]

im a sex offender i was charge with 3 degree sex aduse and intend to do a sex abuse the second charge i received was to get me 90 days of jail time which was wrong i did try to have sex with her i just touch her i have 4 girls the oldest was my 15 yr old stepdaugher which i touch i was very ashamed for what ive done i got 3 year probation n treatment which im doing very well that.Ive never been in trouble before im 43 and live in the same city all my life lived my schools and daycares never bother no one went two my girls school events all the time all my girls still love me very much even the one i touch.but the laws wrecked my life my marriage it happen in my family which should have been no one else business instead of trying to fix family they destroy them thats not right know im list has a preditor which im not we all make mistake in life and ive learn from mine should i have to pay the price the rest of my life because of those who got out of prison and killed them kids thats not my fault that the prison broad fault parole officer fault for not keeping an eye on them they knew they where high risk im listed as a low risk but i mise well be listed high risk the way the laws the goverment and people act about all sex offenders we are not all the same im trying to get on with my life but it hard i live in a dump motel monitor 24/7 get calls from gps comand centers because they cant track me in stores eating place cant even go to movies or in joy my life i have a yr and a hafve left to wear it.its a waste of tax payers money im not a monster it help me to write what i feel the laws are all wrong and the list should target the high risk that would help law enforcement keep better track.People need to be in form of the right information on sex offenders their not all rapeist, kiddnapers or killers.The goverment need to stop all this before it get way out of hand and get a back bone and amitt their wrong its all about getting into office and staying there.Four bad events which kids die and i feel for the family and the goverment need to punish all of us to made them feel better its not right.I have a right to live in this world without being looked that or treated like a monster and to live where i like with no problems.People should be ashamed its god who will jugde me it shouldnt be laws or goverments who judge me and others and write laws that dont made sense and write them to made a few families feel better thanks for reading

[Jason Fox]

Hi, i am a convicted sex offender in louisiana. I found this site b/c i was lying in bed crying earlier and my fiance walked in. She asked what was wrong, all i know is that i caant live like this, it hurts, all i did was party at LSU and a girl with a fake id and lied, her mom put me in jail for sexual battery. Why? Now 6 yrs later i cant seem to get away from it all. The police always send me papers and new law updates and stuff like that, i cant work for anyone so i tried to get into real estate, but i cant get licensed, i completed 2 yrs of nursing, and cant get my certificate, what else can i try? What else? I just cant do it anymore. All b/c of some lying girl who's mom is too ashamed to understand that her daughter is a lyer and a slutt. Whyyyyy? Help me please. Im ready to move anywhere i have to just to get a little bit of freedom or leaniency. What state is the best to live in for sex offenders? Please help me. Please, my family and i beg you. email me at, jmfoxinvestments@yahoo.com

[rachel]

I've been repeatedly harassed by vigilante cops, and have witnessed my boyfriend get arrested and harrassed over and over for something his step mother said he did when he was 10. please tell me why he is now in jail on christmas, waiting for a month to be bussed to another state so they can double check their paper work.

the truth is, there are "bad" sex offenders out there, and society is benefited by the system. but the system doesn't seem to mind who it shoots down in the process of making sure that no one gets through, like someone who may have been innocent, or young.

[Last days]

I to was assulted by the system big brother that can do no wrong them selfs and the cops that lie I to was charged with a sex offence traveling for a living for 26 yr of my life never in trouble was called on hotel phone one day by some lady told her she had wrong number few days later called again we finily met said she was going to college working as a security guard sounded good even add mitted on police report about lieing about age any way 1 mill bail no way to fight system had to give in do to the gun they stick to your head and the threats they use to get you to give up took 5 yr probation 2in a haf yr later never in trouble in my life was working now they deceided to change it up for no reason now stuck in a state i dont know no family no friends no job trying to make me live on welfare trying to make me mess up it is bull what there doing to are rights i wrong this is worst that commuisum this is lieing power hungry people trying to get a pat on the back and a bonse well let me tell you i pray everday i cant wait till it happens to them a cop in jail for porn or for sex with a underage slut. well good luck there cant wait. they wonder why we would like to see them fall i believe in God and he is comeing to right the wrongs i hope to see you cops lawers and judges on the hell web site soon ....good luck in jail too hope they put you in my sell.....

[help]

Thank you for this blog we need this we need more of this what is happening is wrong.please anyone out there that can help or has info please right in this is a witch hunt with no law to protect your rights we need to start a web site that help this problem and stops the money michine and right wings from thinking there better than everyone else till it happens to there son or daughter comitting a crime.and if you daughter is out there being a lier you need to face the facts instead of blaming everone else.like mother like daughter it is a shame and we all need to look out for these types of people.there are bad sex offenders but not everyone can be thron in the same basket.I pray for the laws to change and give hope for people caught up in offence that are not right.the poor kids blamed 18 with 16 poor kids lives recked forever and the mothers and fathers of these girls out there lieing about there age and running the streets there comitting a crime and where letting them do it.and the victum is the man that dosnt know or the women that did not know.please lets get together and fight for are rights.if you did your time you all ready payed but double jeporty is wrong and it needs to be stoped and lawers gain some balls and fight for the rights of all citizens.Thank you for this blog to vent at.two wrongs dont make a right where is the John Adams of toady where is the freedom fighter for the future.I know you are out there step up and save a life please we all need you God bless and I wish all aflicted unjustley the best and keed hope alive...

[justadadathome]

27 years ago, my husband, in his youth committed a crime. He had sex with his girlfriend who was 14 years old, and he was just barely 18 years old.
He plead guilty, was sentenced and served his time.

He got out of prison, a much better person. He found God while in prison, and while locked up, worked on himself.
He went on to meet a me, get married and we had children.

In 2006 our 2 children were 12, and 13 years old and in the public schools. We had a flourishing business and everyone in our and he was providing a great living for our family.

We lived in a small town and everyone knew him and our children. We were active in church, sports and the community at large.

It was then that they passed a new law, the Adam Walsh Act. It made my husband a NEW sex offender. Two sheriffs showed up and arrested him for failing to register as a sex offender.
He called my cell phone and told me I had to come home right away as he was going to jail. This would leave my two young children at home alone, watching their Daddy be taken away in handcuffs. You cannot know how embarrassing this was for me to have to leave my job.

Emotional, yes, to say the least. After his arrest, his photo, name and address were plastered all over the television, radio and newspaper for days. After he was bonded out of jail we had to
leave town for a few weeks as the news people wanted to interview me.

My once totally popular children were now subjects of cruel jokes and ridicule at school.

We had to shut down our business.
We quit church.
We became recluse.

I gave birth to our new baby, and after a year in court, the charges against him were thrown out.

But my husband has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life as a sex offender for his 1 crime I committed 22 years ago.

Collateral Damage? Devastating. The lives of our children have been forever ruined. We cannot even go to a public park now together.. Before that Adam Walsh Act, we went

camping, fishing, swimming all summer long.... Thank you George Bush, and Mark Foley for hurting My Children for ever.

These laws are just wrong. It is like he was sentenced to Lifetime Banishment from the world, for a crime 22 years old that he already paid for. We did not get to go to court again and plead his case. If he did, he could have proven that he is NO threat to society.

How can our government just re-sentence a person to all this punishment, and harm our children so badly without even allowing him to have a day in court to plead his case?

How can he be re-sentenced for a crime that he already went to court for over 20 years ago?
How can this be legal in America? I thought we had laws to protect us.

[Megan]

New Website for Victims of Sex Offender Laws.

http://collateralvictims.com

This website is dedicated to the children, families, friends and associates of RSO's.

In hopes that a website can exist, where lawmakers can read the true stories of how these laws are effecting men, women and children, this website has been create so you, the children, family members, relatives and friends of Registered Sex Offenders can explain what impact these laws are having on you.

We are not looking for your Real Name, or a way to communicate with you. We are only interested in YOUR story getting out so we can send the link to this website to those who are making the laws. Your information will not be given out to anyone.

Our other website, http://www.cfcamerica.org is busy working on ways to fight these laws in the courts.
What can you do to help change these laws. Simple. Register, Log in and tell your story of how these laws are hurting you and your family.

Just post a Comment, it is that easy. Try to tell it as shortly as possible, but yet tell exactly what you think and feel. We will be sending a LOT of people who make these laws to this website and your story may be the only one that touches their hearts to get these laws changed.
If you know anyone who is a victim of these laws, please send them the link to this website and ask them to tell their story.

[Anonymous]

I would stay away from Robert Paisola, he's apparently a scam artist, see here:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22Robert+Paisola%22+AND+%22sex+offender%22

[BreeM]

I read these comments from all of you and it brings tears to my eyes. I am hopelessly and irrevocably in love with a young man who is 10 years my junior. At the age of 22, he unknowingly got involved with a girl who was 15 and was collard with rape, and child abuse. He was given a 20 years suspended sentence and probation. It's awful. It is demoralizing to him to have to register himself as a sex offender just because he didn't ask this girl for her I.D.

I say he unknowingly got involved with someone younger because she advertised herself on a social website as being 18 going on 19. Worse still, her screen name was "I suck d***." Pretty inviting to a young male of only 22 with raging hormones.

Have we really come to a point where our young me have to ask for a girls I.D.just to make sure they are of legal age to consent? Surely not!

He was "caught" in the act, as it were, by the girls grandfather and thought that was the end of it. The grandfather was the girls guardian at the time and went ahead adn told mon. She is the one who ultimately pressed charges. It has been all down hill for him from there. It threw him in to a tailspin that lead to a short bout with drug abuse. Thank God he is getting clarity and perspective now and no longer uses drugs as a means of coping with such a devastating blow to his morale and self esteem.

The mother of the girl knew of her daughters behaviors and sexual exploits but did nothing to rear her daughter in a more positive manner. She, instead, taught the daughter to shift the focus and not take responsibility for her actions. This has turned our lives upside down.

What I want to say is this: I am a mother of three young children. My boyfriend and I were dear friends and co-workers long before we became involved. I knew of his past troubles and decided to go forward with a relationship. At the time I had no idea what the ramifications of that decision would be.

I have had child welfare threaten to remove my children from my home if I continues to have him around them. I have had the police drive by my house and harrass me and let me know in no uncertain terms that they are watching me to see if he comes over. We are completely and utterly hampered by societies views of what a sex offender is.

My boyfriend did what so many other young men at that age do and sowed his wild oats. He was the one, out of several other boys she had hanging around that night, that just happened to get caught. He's no sex offender as per the accepted view of a sex offender, he is just young.

I trust this man implicitly and so do my children and extended family. He has two beautiful daughters of his own. He would move heaven and earth if any one harmed them in the manner in which he as been accused. I don't know what to do or where to turn. We, like so many other, are relentlessly hounded by neighbors and the authorities. WE have no privacy, nor do we have any anonymity.

My boyfriend and I want to get married but fear there will be a backlash from police, the DA, department of human services, and his probation officer. We really do love each other and just want to live a "normal" life, free from the scrutiny of the public.

If anyone can offer help or advice, I would greatly appreciate it.